Monday, June 18, 2012

My grandma

When I was writing my last blog post, I had no idea that my grandmother had gone to heaven that morning. She died peacefully in her sleep on Friday, June 15.

Grandma and Grandpa holding their third great-grandchild
She was an amazing lady, and I still can't believe she's gone. I don't think there are words to describe these past few days. I have been blessed to be with some amazing family-friends this entire weekend before I go to Aspen. I am so grateful for the wonderful company I have enjoyed over this past weekend, even though I was unable to be with my family (and may not be able to get there for the funeral...)

At first I was completely in shock. I just couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that she was really gone. But then it sank in, and I couldn't help but cry. A lot. There have been times (and I'm sure there will be more to come) that missing her hurt so much that I just could not stop crying. And then there are quiet times, where there is a dull ache, and it's best just to distract myself and focus on others.

It's probably fitting that we played our hearts out during Brahms the night before she passed away. I know she wasn't at the concert, so I'm not sure if I can explain myself, but I know it would have affected her deeply. She loved music.

I know that she is no longer suffering. That she is free from her oxygen and is sitting at the feet of her Lord and Savior. I take comfort in the knowledge that I will one day see her again. I'm grateful that we're allowed to grieve and be sad- we all miss her so much. I'm thankful for the condolences and encouragement from my friends and family. I'm so thankful for the understanding of my friend here when I'm just not myself. And for the 21 years I got to spend with my grandmother, that I loved her and that she loved me... and that she knew I loved her.

I will always remember:
-visiting Grandma and Grandpa's house and picking the fruit they grew
-Grandma taking forever to get ready in the morning and us always teasing her about it
-her cheese sauce- it was SOOO good
-her being a card shark whenever we played card games
-her willingness to play endless games of War
-her teaching me card games like Casino
-her words of wisdom over the phone
-her agreeing with me when I told her about how mean the bullies were to me in middle school
-her wanting copies of my recital DVD's and CD's
- her homemade birthday and Christmas cards- she sent me a belated birthday card right before she passed away...
- her watching me ride a bike without training wheels for the first time- and holding me when I fell off and started crying

The list goes on and on....

I love you, Grandma, and I thank you for everything you've passed on to us!

1 comment:

  1. Wonderful thoughts you've posted here. That's what will keep you going in the days to come!